I am coming to the momentous decision that I am not, in fact, the world’s best blogger. I keep telling myself that I’d like to do this, that I have this space on the internet for myself – and that’s great in theory – but the truth is, I never do anything with it. And I’m not 100% sure why. It’s not like I’m not writing. I am. I write all the time! But for some strange, bizarre reason, I can’t seem to make myself come here and post regularly.
I guess I have this Strange Idea of what blogging is supposed to be about and, more often than not, I don’t feel as if what I write constitutes as ‘Blog Material’.
On the other hand, even as I write those words, I feel as if they’re a huge crock. Anything can be blog material, because a Blog, but its own right, can be about anything. I don’t have to write about my life or its events – which is a good thing, because there aren’t many lives out there quite as boring as mine.
There’s a small part of me that just wants to start putting writing up here. You know, real writing, those strange little stories I write. But I am such an amazingly private person when it comes to my writing, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of that. In addition, I don’t think my current WP theme supports that well. I really want what I really want, when it comes to my themes, and I know I have a lot of writing I’d be posting. I don’t think the current theme is productive to my writing, and displaying it in a manner I’d find befitting.
So I guess, in the end, I’m writing this post to announce to probably the one person who reads this blog that I’m not dead, even though she already knows that.
I have this friend. And she’s not just any friend, either; she’s an awesome friend, the kind that gets under your skin and is determined to stay there, no matter what you do.
Needless to say, it’s a bit troublesome!
But she’s doing something really cool today. For the next 24 hours, she’s going to be blogging her face off, in order to raise money for Diabetes – something her mother struggled with for so long, before finally succumbing to it. And you have to understand that I know nothing about diabetes. I’ve never had it. I think my mother had it, when she was very young, but it was that kind you get – when you’re very young – that you’re lucky enough to get rid of, sort like a bad sniffle.
Furthermore, I don’t know the pain of losing anyone close to me, much less my mother.
And so I started thinking about what I could do, what I could say, to draw attention to her efforts. Could I make some interesting anecdote? But I realized, “But Lauren, you have no fascinating anecdotes about Diabetes, nor about losing your loved ones.”
And then I started thinking to myself, “You may not have that much to give, but you do know how to love.”
And so I’m writing this because I went to 2PhatGeeks and I looked around and if you’ve ever been to 2PhatGeeks, you know it has this legacy, this one miraculous thing that happened one day. And day just so happened to be Mother’s Day, the day that idiots and morons descended onto Mel’s post like vultures onto road kill…
…and despite that, it’s still one of my favorite posts she’s ever done, because she made me realize that no matter what you may know, or what you may not know…mothers are sort of like this universal thing, if you’re lucky.
Because see, not everyone has a mother. Some people have fathers! That’s cool too. And some people don’t have either. Or some of them have parents on loan, those really lucky children that were fortunate enough to be told, “Someone wants to adopt you” with all the best intentions.
Her post made me realize that it’s the lucky ones with mothers that love you so much that they’ll put up with your shit no matter what. My mom did. So did Mel’s.
So this may not reach anyone. There’s a chance that no one will read this. I’m okay with that. But I can’t not do this, can’t just sort of sit here and do nothing because I’ve got a mom that put up with my shit and hey; Mel’s mom left her in a grocery store. Because she loved her.
Go over there and read this. If you can, maybe donate some money to the right cause. Her newest posts have a link to where you can do so. And hey, if you can’t? That’s cool too. If nothing else, you’ll get to read about an awesome woman.
It’ll be worth your time, I promise.
I haven’t posted here for 2 years. That’s what WordPress tells me.
I’m not sure I believe it.
2 years? Really? Have I neglected this place that much? Why? Why have I done that? I have this tiny corner of the internet, all to myself. This URL? It’s mine.
Rulihe came into being a long time ago and, if I recall correctly, it started out as your typical geocities page, I think. One of those free site services. Is Geocities still around? I –let me check.
Nope. Yahoo closed it. That’s almost a shame. Imagine all of the crappy webpages that could be out there right now! Either way, Rulihe started back then, years ago. It was originally named ‘Run Like Hell’. I had been listenign to the Kitty cover of Pink Floyd’sRun Like Hell at the time, and loved it. It stuck.
But Run Like Hell is quite a mouthful and, over the years, it was shortened down to Rulihe – and that’s where it’s stayed for nearly a decade, now. Thinking of it like that is sort of hard to believe: I’ve had this site for nine years. Next year, in June, is when I have the first log of an update for the site.
And now, I am in a rut. I am wondering – as I have before – if I should bother keeping this URL. I haven’t posted here in two years – despite the fact that, every time I open my browser? This site is the first thing I see. But I just don’t feel like I have enough to contribute, as a blogger. Sure, I can post stories, but blogging?
I just don’t feel like I have enough to say, in that regard. And…that makes me pretty sad. If I do keep Rulihe, I’m going to have to think about what I want to do with it – think long and hard about whether or not it’s worth keeping it as a blog or, at the very least, if I should turn it into a specific kind of blog.
Something to think about.
It’s raining here. Not just a little rain, oh no. Big rain – big clouds, big thunder, big lightening. The works.
When this happens, I always think about living in South Carolina, the little blue house we lived in for several years, all through my teenage years. I miss it immensely; it was really the first place that was ever ‘ours’. I remember it had that huge, brick-red concrete porch with a roof over it, and so many days like this were spent in the swing with a book, watching it pour down; I’d only get up if I started to get wet too.
It’s amazing what you discover about yourself when you indulge in nostalgia, really.
But this post isn’t about rain – not even about a little blue house on Hub Greer road, either. It’s more about my youth, and what I spent so many days doing.
I was a voracious reader as a child, it’s true; many of my afternoons involved a tall wingback and a book – either one of the Redwall series, or Stephen King. The latter has, in all fairness, never left my side. I’ve read so many King books it’s not even funny – though I haven’t devoured all of them, truth be told. I never finished the Dark Tower series, if only because I couldn’t bring myself to. I think I knew from the start that it wouldn’t end well – it was all bad business, as Golding put it – and the 4th book, Wizards and Glass – was so dreadfully boring that I just couldn’t get past that point.
However, if I was not with a book? I was with a game. I had a Gameboy back then, and I put that sucker through it’s paces. That, and my best friend’s brother’s Nintendo – not to mention Billy and Ann’s. Castlevania and Mario and Rampage and Metroids. Ah, Metroids. How I loved this game. I knew about Justin Bailey and I knew Samus was a chick, and that always knocked my socks off – that the person running around in this huge, bulky armor, was actually a woman.
So. Anyone wanna guess what I’ve spent the past week playing?
This past year. Lemme think:
Several Free2Play MMOs that sucked
Kept up a 3.5 GPA
Started ME2, didn’t beat it, shame on me.
Started Dragon Age, didn’t beat it, shame on me.
Started ME2 again, going to beat it this time, hooray for me!
Samurai Champloo, again.